In college I took many writing classes.They told me to be creative and turn it in at 4pm on Tuesday. And so I would create. Because it was my job at the time. And I was pretty ok at it. So now I miss it. I miss someone telling me to be a little silly, to play pretend and to write. It seems frivolous to say I like to write. Because it's so personal to take the hurricane of thoughts in my head and make them stand on their own. I feel like they need a kickstand, you know, like I should be getting paid a lot of money to do this or something. I feel like money would make my writing legitimate. How silly.
I write because I don't like to talk on the phone and it's a good outlet for all those itchy things I feel but don't want to hear coming out of my I-don't-know-how-to-say-it-right mouth.
Some people doodle pictures. I doodle words and stanzas, poems, and fairy stories. I doodle the thoughts I think, the feelings I feel, the somethings I something, the huh's? and what's? and I don't knows. I scribble the things that drive me crazy, tear them up and send them to the dumpster (gotta erase the bad juju).
So tonight it's midnight and I'm here writing, and reflecting on the weekend that made me laugh out loud, smile big, and dance to music that swirled around new friends and old friends. And I realize that I write because it makes me happy. And that's reason enough.
All I need now is my very own unicorn and a million dollars.
2 comments:
I just read your last six posts and enjoyed them so much. You feel so real to me, and I could empathize with so much of what you said. I'm sorry you lost your dear friend. It's rare to find someone that touches you like that.
I had to laugh when you wrote about writing class, and how you're good with asignments. Me too. I love to write but sometimes it takes my mom emailing me an imperative before I get my fingers on the keyboard. Wasn't it great to have someone tell you that you must have something in? That you had to put off other things because you had to write?
Here's another funny thing- I was married to a guy from North Haven. Small world, huh?
Keep 'em coming. You should be paid to do this.
Miss Maybelle...thank you so much. I'm glad to have your compliments considering how much I look forward to your new posts. I miss the direction of someone telling me to do what I love. Oh the cleaning could wait then. Why not now?
And North Haven really? Crazy.
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