And the rain just keeps on fallin'

I'm not sad. But my knees are achy. And the nightmares are back. And the rain just won't quit.

But I'm not sad.

All the applications are in. This girl will be a teacher next school year. Finally. Lots of bad decisions had me putting off this career. But it's ok. There is a wheelbarrow of mistakes over in that corner that I'm going to plant in the ground, and grow big wildflowers over. I'm putting them to rest and letting something beautiful grow where something ugly once was.

And I'm not sad.

I hate this weather, but I also secretly like it. I love sweats, and socks, and having to stay close to stay warm. And I devour that smell the heat has when it first kicks on, and chimneys burning pine, and the promise of snow. But then I miss summer, and it's oh-just-walk-out-the-door-in-whatever laziness.

But I'm not sad.

And it's almost time for eleven days without my best friend. But it will be good. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or at least that's what they say. And there will be Fajitas & Margaritas with my loveliest friend. And sushi with Mom. And a night out with the girls. And lots of organizing, and running, and shopping. And when he comes back, it will be better because I'll realize all over again that it's just not real until I get to share it with him.

So I'm not sad. Not sad at all.