It all comes back to poo

"There's poop on your shoe. Ohmagod don't touch it! Eeeeeewwwwww!"
"Is it spider poo?"
"No I told you all the spiders moved to Florida for the summer."
"Why they move to Flodida?"
"Uh, what? Because they don't like the cold. Ok, can you wipe your shoe like this in the grass?"
(demonstrates wiping heel in blades, back and forth)
"Oh dis is fun! Look Miss Tiffany, the poo is spreading all around!"
"Ok, ok. Stop. DON'T TOUCH THE POO."
"Oh that's smelly. It smells real bad. AAAAAAHHHH!!"
"What? What? What's wrong?"
"A SPIDERWEB. AND A SCORPION!!"
"I highly doubt there's a scorpion."
"Huh?"
"There's no scorpion. They live in Brazil or something."
"Tanzania."
"What?"
"They live in Tanzania Miss Tiffany."
"Wha? How? When did you learn that?"
*three year old eye roll complete with deep sigh*
"I'm smart. That's how. I know lots of things. Sometimes you need my help."
a'int that the truth kiddo
"Ok hon, I'm gonna sit you on the step and take your shoes off, ok?"
"Ok, but I got poop on my socks too."
fanfreakintastic..
"Noooo problem. We just have to be quiet when we go inside, 'cause baby sister is sleeping, and mommy is working. So, inside voices!"
"Miss Tiffany?"
"Yes sweetie?"
"I gotta poop."