I am so glad I'm not a drug addict. Oh, I don't judge others. I have enough issues to fill a library. But I am so glad being a drug addict isn't one of them.
Saturday began, and remained gray and rainy. Water dripped off the edges of the pavilion as we set up the kids Halloween party at the museum. Mom and I trudged back and forth with loads of food, prizes, games, and more. We endured the chill, the drizzle, the work. We laughed when we could, rolled our eyes at some outrageous customers and did what we do.
And next door, through a chain link fence I watched a steady stream of drug addicts flow in and out of the methadone clinic. An ambulance idled outside at one point. No one rushed. There were no dramatics, and I got the feeling that the ambulance is there often; they know the drill.
I don't know those people. I don't judge them. But in that moment, when I felt the rain and smelled the air and tasted the coffee. When I was in complete control of all my senses and faculties, I felt a sorry for them. For whatever drove them to such a place of sadness. So I said a prayer, and there's not much more I can do. And I went on with my not so dreary anymore day.
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Cute boyfriend is back and well, I'm pretty happy he's in this state again. His work trip was a success and I'm very proud of him (as always). So we went to breakfast on Sunday morning at Bob Evans. We'd finished up and were waiting to pay at the counter. And, like most Sunday mornings, it was busy. Everyone craving pancakes and coffee.
So we're waiting, and there's a disagreement at the cash register, so the wait is longer than usual. We're behind a few people. All around us are people sitting and standing. And to our right is this, uh, well large woman with the most sour expression I've seen. She's huffing, and puffing (and by golly if there'd been a straw house around...) And I'll take this time to explain that there are two benches (occupied) and about fifteen people standing. A name is called, and a bench clears. A young mother and her daughter walk in and sit down. Hufflepuff sighs loudly and says to her friend "Ridiculous. I've been standing here for thirty minutes, they walk in the door and sit right down." Then she proceeds to glare at the woman as if this woman KNEW that ole Hufflepuff had been standing there (not doing lunges, not running in place, but standing stationary). Another name is called. The other bench clears. Hufflepuff cuts in front of us and stands, staring at the two elderly women about to sit down. "I'm next in line for the bench. I've been standing here for thirty minutes, " she snorted. The women are aghast and don't even reply. They simply let her sit.
And as soon as her butt hits the bench, "Hufflepuff, party of two?"
(I won't repeat what cute bf said, but he was totally right)
7 comments:
Oh come on. What did he say?
I'm sorry my comment is so long it has to be posted in more than one post.
As a former opiate abuser and current methadone maintainted patient, I want to thank you for not condemning those addicts choosing to try and get help for their addiction with methadone treatment (or other ORT (opiate replacment therapy) methods)
I like what you said, that you were thankful that wasn't something you ever had to deal with and the fact that you "said a little prayer" for them and thanking God that wasn't you.
You see, most ppl don't realize that the person they see standing in line at the methadone clinic is not the scary monster you imagine running around w/a crazed expression and needles hanging out of their pocket.
With the rise of pain pill abuse (opiates just like heroin) that "drug addict" is your neighbor, your high school teacher, your pastor, your lawyer, even yes, your doctor.
My husband & I have been married over 16 yrs now. He is a police detective, I am a nurse. We have two beautiful boys ages 10 & 9. We are also the youth pastors at our church AND we have a ministry in which we travel to other church's, my husband play keyboard and bass guitar, I sing and he also preaches. We are respectable ppl in our community and life was good. To make a long story short, problems w/endometriosis and the severe pain it caused is when I first was prescribed pain meds. We went through several miscarriages and a lot of problems trying to have a baby. I also had problems in my past that I had never dealt with, sexual abuse, mental & physical abuse....it wasn't long when I realized that those pain pills which helped my physcial pain, they also helped my emotional pain as well. Slowly but surely, I ended up addicted to opiate pain killers. I would do anything to get my pills, I doctor shopped, I forged scripts, I stole them from other elderly church members by pretending I was going over to "vist" with them. I injured myself so many times just to get more pills. I would have, and should have gone to jail on more than one occassion, but because my husband was a well respected police officer and the postitions we held in our church & community, I was spared. I stole pain killers from my job and from other patients. It was a shameless addiction and I was ashamed to admit things had gotten so far out of hand. I went to rehab two or 3 times, it would work for a while but usually within1-3 mths I was hooked all over again. (I won't go into what opiate addiction does to the opiate receptors in the brain and why it is so hard to kick an opiate addiction) but there is medical proof out there now that it is not a "behavorial" problem or a control yourself issue like it once was thought. Just like depression and even endometriosis use to be considered something that was "all in your head". They now know this is a legitimate problem that calls for legitmate treatment and isn't just a behavior issue any more.
Tradition treatment obviously wasn't working for me. When I was finally introduced to methadone treatment it was like a whole new world to me. I was able to live a normal life again and focus on what was so important. You see, one thing I did learn in traditional treatment was the reason I started abusing the opiates anyway was because I hadn't dealt with emotional issues. It was hard to work on the emotional issues when I was struggling so hard w/addiction and vice versa. On methadone treatment, I can put the addiction aside to work on the emotional stuff and then hopefully will be able to work on the addiction part next. For if you don't take care of the emotional issues, so what if you get clean off the drugs, eventually those ugly feelings are going to come back again and you will be right back to using again to "deal" with those feelings.
methadone treatment isn't for everyone. Some people are able to stay clean without any type of replacement therapy and for those that can, I am so happy for them. But there are those of us who have a harder time and that is where ORT with methadone (and now suboxone) are useful. It may not be the best solution, but it is the lesser of two evils when the choices are living with active addiction or ORT.
Contrary to belief, you don't get high on methadone. It takes away the uncomfortable withdrawals and keeps you from getting "dope sick". If I wanted to get high, methadone would not be the drug I would choose because there is no "sudden rush of good feelings", you just feel normal.
I am sorry I have gone on for so long, but I wanted to share my story with you guys. I wanted to try and put a face, a TRUE face to those former addicts you see in a line at a methadone clinic.
Like I said, it isn't just for heroin abusers anymore. With the rise of pain pill abuse which can happen to ANYONE from ANY walk of life, those people that you see are actually some of your neighbors and friends.
Ruthann- First of all- thank you SO much for being brave and sharing your story. I've read, and re-read it and know that your boys have one amazingly strong and forthright mother.
Second- I am so glad that you are feeling better and working on the emotional issues that have caused you so much pain. I will put you and keep you in my prayers that you find the courage to continue on such a difficult journey.
I'm so glad you visited, and commented. Your story will likely be a catalyst for others to take a look at their own addictions so that we can all take steps forward to be the people we are meant to be.
Congratulations again. Please visit, and comment anytime.
At Novus Medical Detox Center, a number of people come to us wanting to get off methadone. It is a prison that the user is in and they tell us stories of how difficult their life is on methadone. We have developed a protocol that allows us to bring people off very high doses of methadone.
Methadone is likely to create problems for pregnant women and their babies. Read http://novusdetox.com/methadone-oxycontin-pregnancy.php.
The solution is to provide not more clinics but detoxes and rehabs to allow people to become drug free--not on an addictive opioid like methadone.
Steve
http://novusdetox.com
Steve- Thanks so much for the information. I have to confess, I don't know much about addiction, narcotics, methadone or the like. I haven't (luckily) had any experience with these subjects. But I'm always open to learning more. Thanks for the post. I just hope everyone who needs it, get the help the so deserve.
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