Monday rolls around

I've started gathering presents in the corner of the big closet. They are varied, as are the people in my life. And I love buying things for those I love. It makes me happy to find something, to wrap it in special dollar store paper and tie it up with ribbons and top it with bows. I'm so looking forward to these next two weeks. My calendar is bursting at the seams and I'm being the social butterfly I love to be; flitting from event to appointment to store and back again.

Saturday night I babysat the kiddos. And Father was worried the whole time he was out with Mother. "Do you think baby is giving her a hard time? I wonder if she's sleeping. I hope she isn't crying too much." So when they got home, tiptoeing on the hardwood floor I pointed to the monitor and the peacefully sleeping baby. "She never made a peep", I told them. Took her bottle and went right to sleep. "Oh hell. Will you live here?" said Father.

We aren't decorating for Christmas. I'm a little sad. I love being surrounded by lights and garland and wreaths and that cinnamon smell. But cute boyfriend will be gone and I will barely be home so there's really no point and I understand the practicality. And yes, it does make things easier, but still...

And I've said before, I'm so proud of him. His job is dangerous and is taking him far from home. His Christmas will be so very different. As I'm opening presents with my family and eating the Christmas cookies we always eat for breakfast that morning, he will be miles away protecting someones family. And I'll think of him, in his dark suit, standing alert and know that time and miles can't stop love. And he'll be flying back home before I know it.

I said before that I was stressed, but I'm not anymore. Not one bit. I felt it, acknowledged it and let it go. I'm organized and ready for the chaos and fun. I can't wait to wrap and bake and celebrate the wedding of my dear friend. The dresses are in for alterations. The shoes are bought. Nail and hair appointments made.

This year is about love and hope and forgiveness and patience and humility. I donated to the food bank again this week. I just can't bear the thought of a family with nothing on their table this cold winter.

I'm rambling and this is disjointed and I don't mind.