I am fuming mad. Or am I? Is it hormones? No man can say it's just hormones though. They don't know. If you are a man, don't tell a woman it's just hormones. Those hormones. These hormones. You know nothing of them. Their power. Their charge. That the feelings they invoke and provoke are real and strong and fucking terrible and wonderful at times. So don't say it's just hormones. There is nothing just about them.
I want summer weather. I need the beach, the ocean, the waves, the tan. I want I want I want. It's a chant echoing in my head. I want more money. I want my dream job. I want new jeans. I want it all. And I want it now. And I hate that I feel greedy and needy.
I'm pissed at a few things. Not people. Things. Situations. I'm saying prayers for people I love and I feel like God has heard from me so many times he's now filed me under, "That girl that just won't shut up." But seriously, God, listen up: these people I pray for, they really need your help. Five minutes. A few little miracles. Come on. We're dying down here.
And isn't that the crux of it all? Cute boyfriend and I were talking last night about salmon (yeah, we're deep like that) And we were discussing how salmon work so hard, swimming upstream to spawn, AND THEN THEY DIE. And isn't that what we do too? We work and work and work and fight to live but it is so futile. But god life is so amazing sometimes. I just want to know when I can stop swimming. When can I just go with the current? Cause I sure am tired.
Days come and go and we don't get them back. What's that about? I want a do-over!
2 comments:
You are right. It is hard.
Maybe dancing would help? Try this.
That pretty much is life. Sorry. But we do get to enjoy the journey. Sometimes.
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