I grew up on a large farm outside of Annapolis. Corn grew in tall, thick, green stalks and made a wall along our side yard. Lightning bugs streaked across the dark summer sky. Tiny feet racing over dew covered grass, we captured them in jars, marveling at their magic. Spring mornings were gloroious. The cherry tree outside my window let a bittersweet breeze blow in. I'd spend those first few moments of morning leaning my elbows on the windowframe, looking out over my country kingdom. The ancient barns leaning with the wind, cows barely visible in the distance, and always the green. Everything was green and alive.

I long for that simplicity sometimes. Though nothing is as simple as our memories would have us believe. Oh things weren't easy, there were still arguments and stresses, there were still imperfections. But there was just something about waking up, having that first deep morning stretch and being able to look out the window over a view so beautiful I didn't even have the vocabulary to express it.

Growing up on a farm was really a gift. I could run through pastures, watch calves being born, their mothers nuzzling them gently. We made forts over the tiny stream that cut through the farm horizontally in half, and rode horses up the hills towards the barn. Life teemed everywhere and I came away with a healthy respect for all living creatures and our world that works so wondrously to support them.

And while I love where I am in life right now, there are mornings I wake up and look out my window hoping to see the sun rising over the corn stalks.

Over the wine glass

Houdini: "Maybe she's obligating."
Tiff: "What?"
Houdini: "You know, when you're able to have a baby. Obligating."
Tiff: "Ohhh, you mean OVULATING!"

Life is short but sweet for certain - DMB

“You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not.

‘Have you found joy in your life?’

'Has your life brought joy to others?’”

-The Bucket List

A prince too soon

My eleven year old brother, Bullfrog (*names have been changed to protect the innocent...and the guilty), and I are spending the next couple of days together. And let me tell you, this kid is hilarious. He is witty, insightful, creative and altogether a real treat to be around. Below are some samples of his work:

"When I grow up, I want to have a goat. Because really, they eat anything and that just seems easiest."

"The Black Mamba snake can kill a man in 12 minutes flat. Well at least thats what I like to believe."

"I can't believe I'm losing HORSE, and to a giiiiirl. This is humiliating." (I beat him twice, though I fear this will not soon be the case, he is taller everyday)

"I mean, you probably have more experience on this one than me, but here's what I think..."

"My perfect dinner? Well that would have to be black beans with shredded cheese on 'em, whole potatoes, and crab dip." (*whole potatoes=baked potatoes)

"Ok, so when we go to buy the fish don't tell the lady that I'm gonna be feedin' it to my turtle. They get all squirrely when ya say that for some reason." (He has two turtles, Chomper and Bobo...their real names. And they are fierce and fiery snapping turtles. That fish had no chance.)

I've laughed pretty much all day, and he didn't stop talking until I said BEDTIME, in my most firm yet loving big sister tone. I hugged him goodnight and realized, this kid is on the brink. He's so much a little boy still and yet, those long legs and teenager tendencies are sneaking up, growing everyday. Soon it might not be cool for me to hug him in public. He might not want to watch Spongebob with me, or eat ice cream in the middle of the afternoon WHERE OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE US. I may very soon be inflicted with uncoolitis. And that makes me just a little sad. But the pride that I feel when I see him navigate this big world with such utter confidence, well that's worth a little pain on my part. Because it's such a pleasure to watch this little boy grow into a young man.

And to the woman at Quizno's who so kindly inquired, "Do you think your SON would like a free cookie?"

I'll tell you what to do with that cookie lady.

It's ok. I'm a trained klutz.

Every night I empty my change purse into a large glass vase. I've been doing this for years, and everytime it fills I deposit the money into my bank account. When I woke up this morning and peered over the side of my bed I noticed four pennies trying to escape (they had made a ladder of nickles and were shimmying down the side of the vase towards the door). I figured it was time I used my GPS to find the nearest Chevy Chase (I'm still fairly new to this exact area, and completely directionally challenged).

When I finally (after three u-turns) found the bank I parked and headed inside. My change was in a large Ziploc freezer bag. The coin counter is in the back corner and the bank was deserted. I crossed the floor and somehow, when the tile turned into carpet, I turned into some sort of drunken stuntwoman. I tripped and in slow motion felt myself fall rather ungracefully onto the floor while a hundred dollars in changed rained down on me. A quarter bounced off my eye and two dimes landed near the desk of the branch manager. Squinting through the metallic haze, I saw his look of what can only be described as pity.

"Miss, are you ok?" He asked while giving me his hand to help me up.
Hastily gathering the money off the floor and cramming it back into the bag, I righted my sweatshirt and lopsided ponytail.

"Yes, I'm fine. It was probably that third martini I had for breakfast."

**crickets**



Editors Note: Don't worry. I don't drink martinis in the morning. I prefer mimosas.

"The First True Story of What Happens After You Die"

In the highly underrated 1991 Meryl Streep film "Defending your Life", people after death are ushered into what is esentially a waiting room before the afterlife. It is called Judgment City. The main character Daniel, played by Albert Brooks, is hit by a bus and killed at a relatively young age. He finds out that his entire life has been videotaped (essentially) and during the day he must appear in a court like setting to defend himself and his actions while on Earth. The purpose of this is to show that he successfully overcame his fears during his life. He struggles with this as the life we are shown snippets of is quite pitiful.

He is not the only one there. As a matter of fact the city is full of people reviewing and defending their lives. One of these is Julia, played by Meryl Streep. As the movie continues we see that Julia has lived a full and brave life. She makes the jurors laugh and weep along with her and soon Daniel finds himself falling for her.

There is a bit of magic to Judgment City. For example at night, you can eat as much as you want and never gain a pound, and night is when Julia and Daniel find themselves falling in love.

As Julia's life unfolds we see that she lived with courage and honor and grace, and Albert is her polar opposite. It becomes a concern that they may not see the afterlife together. Because, if Albert cannot successfully defend his time on Earth, he will have to go back to live his life all over again and try to get it right.

If you have a free Friday night, I highly recommend renting this (available through Blockbuster and Netflix). I first saw this movie years ago when it was on tv one Saturday afternoon and think about it often. It had a huge impact on me.

I don't know anything about the afterlife. I have so many hopes for what it may be. But I think, if there is a Judgment City, I want the jurors to look at the story of my life and see that I lived a life of integrity and that I had the courage to stand up for my convictions and to do at least one thing that scared me everyday. At the end of this life, I want to look back and know that I left no stone unturned, no tear uncried and no laugh silent.

I guess the way I look at it is this, for all we know, we only get to do this life one time. This life, this year, this day, this minute. We only get one shot to make it right, to make it count, to make it joyful. Why spend our time doing anything but feeling thankful for these moments? It's all about attitude and perspective. And for me, well, I can't see wasting even a second of my time here. I've a lot of life to live!

"Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything -- real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life."

New Favorites

Hair Product: Redken All Soft Conditioner (for those days when you work up the energy to shower AND wash your hair. A real treat)

Book: "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea." by Chelsea Handler. (Brilliant, controversial, wholly inappropriate comedienne. Love her)

Drink: Sobe Lean Green Tea (an old favorite, but too good not to mention)

TV Show: TrueBlood on HBO. (It's about Vampires and Humans trying to co-exist. Sounds cheesy, and it is, but so good!)

Store: Steven & Barry's (discount clothing by big name designers like Sarah Jessica Parker and her line 'Bitten' or Venus Williams and so on. They have a few MD locations, the one we frequent is in Glen Burnie. I'm talkin' t-shirts for $4 and full on tacky velour sweatsuits for $5 etc.)

Quote:"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Blog for thought

This is my new favorite blog: http://www.rolluptherugs.blogspot.com

I highly recommend bookmarking it and checking back often. She is a truly gifted writer. Here is an excerpt from yesterday's post:

We call that day my Rebirthday. Tomorrow, Mama and I will climb into her little blue car (will it bring out the blue in our eyes?) and drive to the coast. It is the same coast that she bundled me up and drove me to all those years ago to let the healing waters wash over my wounds, and the salty breeze and the seagull cry take my tears away. We are going to celebrate this painful life, this magic world, where the love goes up and up and up and the wonder of it all is that our tiny frail human bodies can contain that much love and that much pain, all at once. We will ask the universe for nothing. We will say Thank You.

A little twisted

Sunshine and I (and our far away friend Hollywood), have a love for a certain gentleman named Jack Handey. Haven't heard of him? See a few samples of his work below:

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."

"During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were 'just going down to the corner'."

"It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating."

Confused yet? I bet ya are. Well let me explain. (and by "me" I really mean Wikipedia, of course):

'Jack Handey (born 25 February 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Although many people assume otherwise,[1][2] Handey is a real person, not a pen name or a character."

Jack Handey worked on SNL after being introduced to Lorne Michaels by Steve Martin. Anytime I need a good laugh, I pull up his quotes online or Sunshine and I take turns reading out loud from one of his books. It never fails to make us feel better.

And if you don't think he's funny.... I don't think we can be friends anymore.

Check it out! http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com

Please vote.

I won't disclose who I am voting for, but I will share this quote that I read today:

"If the fetus you save is born gay, will you continue to fight for its rights?"

Mystery in Maryland

Tuesday night Sunshine asked me to go on a walk with her to the liquor store. (We live within walking distance of a grocery store, three gas stations, pet store, tanning, nails, dollar store, liquor store and so much more.) We meandered down the road, talking idly of our days when we saw the blue and white sign of Goodwill.

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES HERE!

We looked at each other, smiled, and went in. After poring over the slim offerings we wandered down to the furniture. And there, we saw our destiny.

Two lime green, velvet armchairs.

S: "Seventies sex chairs."
T: "We have to have those. Damn, there's no price tag!"

We walk to the cashier, realizing the store is closing in two minutes.

T: "Hi, there are two green chairs down there that we want, but there are no prices on them. Do you make the prices?"

Goodwill: "No, the Assistant Manager does that. Hold on, let me get her."

Sunshine and I walk back downstairs and plop down in the chairs. When the Assistant Manager comes in I smile broadly at her.

"Are they free??"

"No," she says, smiling at us, a puzzled look on her face.

"Ok, I'll give you both of 'em for $25."

Sunshine whips a twenty out of her pocket.

"But this is all I have. We were just walking to the liquor store for wine!"

"It's not as bad as it sounds," I say.

The AM looks at us, our eyes pleading with her.

"Fine come up front. Let's haul these outside."

SCORE!! In the end, we got both chairs in mint condition for $19.08.

As we re-arranged the living room, we realized that Houdini (being gone for the evening) had no idea what we had done. A devilish gleam came into Sunshine's eyes.

"Let's act like we have no idea where these came from."

And so it began. The next day Sushine and Houdini arrived home at the same time. As she opened the door, Sunshine gasped.

"What are THOSE??"

"Oh my god, where did those come from?" asked Houdini.

They kept that up for about an hour, as I drove home from work. And then this:

Text message conversation with Houdini:

H:"Nice job Ms. Home Decorator"

T:"What are you talking about?"

H:"Nothin'. Nevermind...."

T: "Ok, I'm confused. I'll be home in 15."

I pulled up to our house and Sunshine swings the front door open.

Grinning she says, "Did you do this?"

"What are you talking about?" I say, setting my stuff down and putting on my best surprised face.

"Where did these come from? Houdini, did you buy these chairs?"

At this point she looks truly shocked and a little concerned.

"You guys didn't buy these?"

"No, we didn't. You didn't buy them?"

"No..."

"Huh, weird..."

Eventually we tell her it was us.

She seems relieved and then says, "Well I'm glad it was you guys. I was beginning to think the maintenance people came in and gave us those chairs."

Guess what?

I resigned from my job today. Sweet mercy. I resigned from my job today. And it's not real yet. But it is. Goodbye free car. Goodbye free gas. Goodbye oppressive manager who liked to tell lies. And goodbye hour long commute. Hello toddlers, teaching, sweatpants, fingerpainting and everything that makes me truly happy.

I'll post more soon. I think for now I need to send some goodbye emails to the co-workers that made my time at the company so amazing. There's a part of me that is sad today, for the people I'm leaving behind. So much has changed in my life since I started with the company that it's bringing back memories. Today I'll remember everything I loved about the past. Tomorrow I'll be excited for the future.

Random Pictures

A tomatoe, lettuce, mustard, and chocolate chip cookie sandwich.

Don't worry. They're trained. Like circus monkeys.


That face either says, "Come hither," or "More Pepto please". I'm just hiding in shame.

The roomies.

Bestest friends forever.

Now I know what they mean when they say "Love/Hate Relationship"

I did it. I finished the Half-Marathon. And I wasn't last!! There were over a thousand people who finished after me. There were about three thousand that finished before me, but who cares?! I did it. And it felt great. Well actually it felt awful and then if felt great. Do you know how far 13.1 miles is when you are running? And the hills. My God the hills. Why didn't they ever go down?! Always with the up. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Here's how it all began...

I set my alarm for 5:30am Saturday morning, but by 3:15am I was wide awake and stretching. I couldn't sleep. I slowly warmed up my muscles with light Pilates as the house slept around me. I watched Love & Basketball for the millionth time, took my ibuprofen and drank water as the minutes ticked by. At 6:15 I got in the car and began the short drive to Baltimore. The sun was just coming up. Traffic backed up the closer I got to Ravens stadium. I found parking easily and turned up the heat in the car as I laced up my shoes and attached my D-Tag to the laces (it's a small orange band that keeps your time during the race).

The 1/2 mile walk to the event was chilly. About 50 degrees, but the sun was out and shining. I made my way over to Celebration Village and was immediately swallowed up by the other 17,499 runners. There's no way to describe it. Electric I guess. Everyone is ready to just get it over with. But at the same time, you don't want to start. I walked around for about an hour, warming up and stretching,drinking water and eating a banana. I went to bag check and dropped off my things and started to walk to the starting line.

I loved the anonymity. There were thousands of people around but I was just one in the crowd as we all walked together toward the start of the race.

Before I knew it, we were off and running. I clicked on my watch and told my feet to just keep going. The crowd ebbed and flowed as the fastest runners edged ahead and the walkers brought up the rear. The first mile was the most difficult, silly, I know. But it's such a mental game. Before I knew it, I saw mile marker 6, then, 8 and when I saw 11 I knew I was going to finish.

Along the way, people lined the streets. Some had music playing, or maracas or they were just yelling out encouraging words. I hope they know how much they helped.

As I crossed the finish line, knee aching, blisters already formed, I knew that this marathon was more than just running. It was, as my running buddy and co-worker so eloquently put it, "A metaphor for life. Whatever happens you just have to keep going. Don't quit. Don't stop. Just keep moving. No matter what obstacle gets in your way, all you have to do is just keep going." And I guess in the end, it really is that simple. Not easy. But simple.

The medal I got is sitting under my College diploma. When I look over to that corner of my room I am proud of myself, and the things that I have pushed myself to do and continue to push myself to do.

And now? Well now I'm hooked. I've already signed up for my next race- May 3rd in Frederick. And I'm takin' Sunshine with me.

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."
-Ben Stein

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 26. Twenty freakin' six. How did that happen?

The day was lovely and perfect. I woke up early and headed downstairs to find that my roommates had decorated our townhouse. Streamers hung from every corner and a huge Happy Birthday sign was taped to the wall. They had set their alarms for 2:00am to sneak downstairs and decorate so that I would be surprised. Such good friends.

Around 8:00am Sunshine and I took off on a mini-road trip up to Sabillasville,MD (past Frederick). We took long, windy roads through beautiful back country, stopping occasionally to snap pictures of trees already changing color. A creek ran through dense woods as we climbed higher. The towns we drove through were small, with tiny churches and wraparound porches. Turning down a tiny street we pulled into our destination:

Chihuahua Heaven

I kid you not.

We were greeted by the dog breeders, a fascinating couple who say that their dogs are their children. There were puppies everywhere. We spent an hour just petting and cooing over each puppy trying to settle on the one we each wanted. We finally picked (pictures coming soon) and then headed back down the road.

Sunshine took me to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen and we ate pizza and drank Appleberry sangria. This was followed by a little bit of shopping and then an hour long nap before heading down to my Mom's house for family dinner.

We sat around the table, my family and friends and laughed in the candlelight, drinking wine and eating my favorite foods. As I looked around I realized again, how lucky I am, as a woman to have built these relationships and as a person to be living this life. I hope I never lose sight of what really matters.

So to everyone that made my birthday so special (emails, texts, phone calls, cards, and so much more) Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

My cup runneth over.

So...freaking...true

Libra September 23 - October 22

For Tuesday, October 7 -You'll be immensely entertained today when a voice of authority in your life reveals that they don't know everything after all! In fact, in one particular area, you will be the expert while they will be the novice. Try not to lord this over them or make them feel silly -- after all, you want them on your side! Show them how knowledgeable you are, and thus how valuable you are to them! This is your chance to prove your worth in a big way. Things could start changing soon.

And things will be changing... very soon...

These boots were made for...

I was walking through the shoe department at Macy's with Houdini on Sunday, browsing the fall offerings when I spotted a pair of knee high, brown leather boots that made me drool. As I reached out to touch them...it happened. The left boot leaned slightly and fell knocking the black boot next to it and the waterfall began. The boots toppled over silently. Supple leather landing soundlessly on the wooden table. In all eight pairs of boots were knocked over. And as if I wasn't creating enough of a scene...I yelled out for Houdini to come to my rescue and she began to laugh and snort uncontrollably. Passerby weren't laughing. You would have thought I stole a puppy and wore it as a hat. The dirty looks, the sneers. I couldn't believe it. On tv, that would have killed! But in real life, I was just a clumsy girl with a giggly sidekick.

Words

(After the Ravens lost yesterday ((and the Redskins WON!)))

Me:"There's two guys behind us in that car wearing Ravens jerseys. You wanna give 'em what for?"
Houdini: "No. How would I give them that?"

Debating the Future

I couldn't run a country. This I know. I haven't the slightest idea how to handle the conflicts in the Middle East. I routinely turn to maps to help me understand the geography discussed on CNN. I'm not ashamed of that. I'm taking the time to educate and re-educate myself as the opportunity presents itself.

As Americans, we are rasied with a very self-centric view of the world. We are the center and everyone else revolves around us. It is a lovely place to believe we are. In reality? We're all in this together. None of us can exist without the help of the other, without the contrast.

I sat with Sunshine last night, watching the debates, thinking to myself that this world would be such a better place if people would simply say what they mean, and mean what they say. I saw Palin and Biden dance around the answers to questions, never fully making their point. The catchy terms like "Maverick" and "Change" were repeated over and over. However, with nothing concrete to back up these terms, it became fluff. Like a jar of cotton.

Oh Palin has cute glasses and impeccable fashion sense. And Biden is classically political in a sharp suit and tie. But beyond that. Beyond the hype. Beyond the rhetoric. All I want to know is this:

Who is going to help me win the Powerball?

Wednesday was...

5am- 4 mile run. Half marathon is October 11. I'm starting to get nervous.

8am- Leave for work half an hour late. The past month my motivation has waned due to the hostile takeover of Robomanager.

8:45am- Arrive at work for serious meeting about current state of affairs in our office. Brutal honesty unleashed. Actual quote from Robomanager, "I have laid myself bare for you guys."
Really? Really? Is that so? Because I don't need that mental image.

10:00am- Narrowly escape "The meeting that coul steal your soul." Head out to our other office. Talk with the guys there, wish I worked in such a happy, joyful place. I swear I heard angels singing.

12:00pm- Finally arrive back at my office. Make some calls. Ponder lunch. Eat grapes. Robomanger leaves for National Meeting. Celebratory dance ensues.

3:00pm- Head to credit union to do marketing blitz. 200 men, me, and twizzlers. Met a lot of people, watched the rain fall. Turned down dates from a few guys who were old enough to be my father.
No I don't remember "All in the Family". I was born in 1982. Do you know who Ludacris is?

5:00pm- Drive home. In traffic I see a woman reading something, balancing the papers on her steering wheel. She swerves into my lane and shoots me a dirty look. I'm mid sentence, singing Eddie Money's "Take me Home Tonight" , so I don't really care. I just wave.

6:30pm- Pull into parking lot at house. Explain to the guy across the street (again) that I'm not rich. I get to drive a different car everyday because of my job. Sunshine is sick. She has a sore throat and cough. Houdini and I go to Quizno's for subs. Pick up something for Sunshine.

8:00pm- Watch 3 episodes of Project Runway. You'd think it was brain surgery. THAT RUFFLE COULD POTENTIALLY SAVE MANKIND FROM CERTAIN ANNIHILATION.

10:00pm- Bed. Because I am that lame.