A little funny for ya, honey

Yesterday morning I left cute bf's house early. I had to go home, shower, change and head down to Mom's by 6:30. You see, Stepdad is in the hospital so I was to get the Bullfrog off to school and then head to work.

While getting ready I glanced in the full length mirror and saw a spider crawling up a stray piece of hair in my ponytail. And since I have arachnophobia my reaction was this:

*BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM*

Then I ripped a chunk of my hair out.

But I couldn't locate the spider. Where the hell had she gone? Where? In my ear? My shirt? IS SHE LAYING EGGS IN MY NOSTRILS? My god the panic.

So I ripped my tank top off and stood there, sweating, hair askew, topless.

"Come here little spider, I won't kill you."

And then I saw the tiniest flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye. There she was, crawling every so slowly against the baseboard. I edged away grabbing my sandal from the floor and POUNCE!!!

But the little bitch just scampered away. Stubbing my toe, I let out a string of prison worthy curses.

I got out my flashlight and lit up my room, the hallway and bathroom. But I couldn't find her.

I crept slowly into the bathroom across from my room. Still sweating. Still topless.

As I went to the sink to brush my teeth I had the skin prickling feeling of, something is watching me.

And there she was. Crawling across the threshold into the bathroom. All the time in the world.

"Ohh, good show old girl."