Episode 3,168

I've posted before that I'm clumsy at times. So when I found myself naked, curled up the fetal position clutching the base of the toilet last night, it was really no shock.

I got out of the shower, applied my face moisturizer and then turned to walk to the trash can to throw a qtip away when my foot hit the one errant drop of water on the tile and just gave in. Sliding forward the motion propelled my body at light speed into the waiting arms of gravity. And as falls often do, this one turned slow motion as I felt my thigh then hip hit the floor. And then my arm slammed into the side of the toilet, my thumbnail bending awkwardly.

I don't have time to break any bones. Also, no paramedics are seeing me naked.

I grasped the base of the toilet to lessen some of the final shock as the rest of my body hit the floor with an oh-so-sexy THUD. I felt the pain radiating out from my hip and up through the right side of my body. Looking down I assessed the damage. A large welt rose on my thigh, blood vessels bursting nastily beneath the skin surface.

My upper arm had a three inch long scrape and was swollen and red. But no bones sticking out. No blood. No level 10 pain. Taking a deep breath I stood up and looked around. Grabbing a towel to mop up the floor I realized....there was no water at all.

I blame ghosts.