A recent study by the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago correlated the personalities of 2,747 people with their sandwich preference. The study was commissioned by Hellmann's and Best Foods Mayonnaise.
STUDY FINDINGS
Club Sandwich Agreeable and unselfish, club sandwich lovers seek comfort in close, secure relationships. Strongly devoted to work as well as relationships, they can always be counted upon. Best two words to describe those who prefer club sandwich: commitment and loyalty. Those who prefer club sandwich are most compatible with those who chose club, BLT or turkey.
Ham and Cheese Curious and intuitively oriented, those who prefer ham and cheese find their inquisitive nature directs them to a wide range of interests. Their serious nature can point them into the arena of existential concerns. They are most productive when allowed to work on their own, without micromanagement from supervisors. Down time allows their creativity to blossom. Those who prefer ham and cheese sandwich function best without strong romantic entanglements.
Turkey Sandwich Those who prefer turkey sandwich are free-thinkers, naturally rebellious against authority. They are their own boss and function best at work and in relationships when given "space" or when left to their own device. If not careful, turkey sandwich lovers can become mired down in a swamp of existential philosophy. Most romantically compatible with others who also prefer turkey sandwiches.
Tuna Sandwich Aggressive, achievement-oriented and natural leaders who are driven to succeed in both work and interpersonal relationships. Competitive, driven, intolerant of failure, they demand the best from themselves and those that surround them. However, they become irritated with the minor vicissitudes of life and demonstrate impatience with long lines, rush hour traffic or slow Internet connections. Those who prefer tuna sandwich are most romantically compatible with those who prefer egg salad and others who like tuna.
Egg Salad Sandwich Entertaining, lively, energetic, they thrive as the center of attention. Egg salad sandwich lovers crave novelty, excitement and adventure. They tend to be seductive, provocative and charming, but are also overly trusting and vulnerable to the influence of others who surround them. Those who prefer egg salad sandwich are the universal romantic. They are compatible with all sandwich lovers.
Chicken Salad Sandwich Easy-going, well-adjusted, empathic, and understanding. They are the perfect spouse or partner. Those who prefer chicken salad sandwich are most romantically compatible with those who prefer egg salad sandwich.
Seafood Salad Sandwich Agreeable, unselfish, seafood salad sandwich lovers seek comfort in close, secure relationships. Strongly devoted to work as well as relationships, they can always be counted upon. Best two words to describe those who prefer seafood sandwich: commitment and loyalty. Romantic compatibility is with those who prefer BLT and seafood salad.
Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato Conscientious, perfectionist, devoted to work, home or relationship. Task-oriented and maintains the moral high ground at all times. Honest, forthright.Best described by the word "integrity." BLT sandwich lovers are most compatible with those who prefer seafood salad sandwich.
-From AOL Food Editors
Friday, July 31, 2009
The first step...
....is to admit you have a problem.
My name is Tiffany, and I'm addicted to technology.
It all started with a calculator. It was a cold Fall day.... Ok, not really. But I am addicted.
My cell phone is nearly surgically attached to my hand. I text constantly throughout the day. I don't actually talk on the phone as I have been afflicted with some sort of disease whereby I turn into a complete, babbling, interrupting idiot when faced with a phone call. That being said, text is much easier for me. I can read it before I send it. I can erase that part where I accidentally called you a bitch, or double check that I'm not sending my Mom a message meant for cute bf, (Right, hot lips?)
So yeah, I text. I can't stop. I don't even want to.
And then, well then there's the computer. Oh sweet laptop. You are small, and light. You keep me connected to all things People.com, and Facebook related. You don't judge me when I check my email 47 times a day. You don't laugh when I visit sites like textsfromlastnight.com or explodingdog.com. I love you laptop. Let's get married!
Before my car was broken into I also had a TomTom GPS that I spoke sweet nothings to in traffic. Despite the name, my TomTom was referred to as Lucy, and she spoke with a lovely, lilting British accent. She guided me through many a backroad, and red light district with grace and ease. (Not counting the VA mixing bowl where I think I heard her mutter, "You're on your own," before directing me to take 16 U-turns and drive straight into a brick wall) Lucy is currently locked away in Central Processing in Baltimore. She was the victim of senseless crime. I miss her. I wonder if she thinks of me...
In addition, there is the printer, the digital camera, the ipod, the tv, the dvd player, the cable box, and so much more. I love them all.
But, and I say this with such respect, sometimes they really piss me off. When they malfunction. When they chirp constantly. When I feel like I can't even throw in a load of laundry because WHO KNOWS WHAT I MIGHT MISS? And then there are the times when I have multiple texts coming in, Facebook messages popping up, a blog to update, 10 new emails, a voicemail, and I see that the people on House Hunters have chosen House #2 (THE ONE WITH THE CONCRETE BACKYARD..REALLY??) And it's just too much.
I wanted to take a day off from technology. I wanted to shut if all off. To have a day of silence.
But then I felt a cold rush of panic setting in, and I decided that was a terrible idea. I mean, what if someone wanted to tell me something really funny on Facebook? What if my Mom needed to text me a question like, "Who was your fresheman year basketball coach?" These things cannot go ignored people!
So I'll try to cut back. Or not. Whatever.
My name is Tiffany, and I'm addicted to technology.
It all started with a calculator. It was a cold Fall day.... Ok, not really. But I am addicted.
My cell phone is nearly surgically attached to my hand. I text constantly throughout the day. I don't actually talk on the phone as I have been afflicted with some sort of disease whereby I turn into a complete, babbling, interrupting idiot when faced with a phone call. That being said, text is much easier for me. I can read it before I send it. I can erase that part where I accidentally called you a bitch, or double check that I'm not sending my Mom a message meant for cute bf, (Right, hot lips?)
So yeah, I text. I can't stop. I don't even want to.
And then, well then there's the computer. Oh sweet laptop. You are small, and light. You keep me connected to all things People.com, and Facebook related. You don't judge me when I check my email 47 times a day. You don't laugh when I visit sites like textsfromlastnight.com or explodingdog.com. I love you laptop. Let's get married!
Before my car was broken into I also had a TomTom GPS that I spoke sweet nothings to in traffic. Despite the name, my TomTom was referred to as Lucy, and she spoke with a lovely, lilting British accent. She guided me through many a backroad, and red light district with grace and ease. (Not counting the VA mixing bowl where I think I heard her mutter, "You're on your own," before directing me to take 16 U-turns and drive straight into a brick wall) Lucy is currently locked away in Central Processing in Baltimore. She was the victim of senseless crime. I miss her. I wonder if she thinks of me...
In addition, there is the printer, the digital camera, the ipod, the tv, the dvd player, the cable box, and so much more. I love them all.
But, and I say this with such respect, sometimes they really piss me off. When they malfunction. When they chirp constantly. When I feel like I can't even throw in a load of laundry because WHO KNOWS WHAT I MIGHT MISS? And then there are the times when I have multiple texts coming in, Facebook messages popping up, a blog to update, 10 new emails, a voicemail, and I see that the people on House Hunters have chosen House #2 (THE ONE WITH THE CONCRETE BACKYARD..REALLY??) And it's just too much.
I wanted to take a day off from technology. I wanted to shut if all off. To have a day of silence.
But then I felt a cold rush of panic setting in, and I decided that was a terrible idea. I mean, what if someone wanted to tell me something really funny on Facebook? What if my Mom needed to text me a question like, "Who was your fresheman year basketball coach?" These things cannot go ignored people!
So I'll try to cut back. Or not. Whatever.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
Hooray!! My old college roommate Jen, and her husband Shaun welcomed their newest addition today. Sayer Malachi - born 10:27am. 9 lbs, 5oz. Healthy & happy baby and Mama!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Oh baby...
She wrapped her tiny hand around my finger, drinking greedily from the bottle. Only the sound of the ceiling fan could be heard above her small sighs, and my whispered words. She's not mine. I'm her "day mommy" as her real mommy says. But I do love her. And as I held her close to me I felt her drift off to sleep, safe in my arms. The sun disappeared behind huge, dark clouds. Rain fell noisily on the deck. I could feel that pull, that tug on my heart... i can't wait to have one of my own. And then...
she farted, laughed, and threw up all over my shirt.
she farted, laughed, and threw up all over my shirt.
What if...
The next time you don't like how life is treating you....you think, "How am I treating life?"
NewNEWnew!
Check out the newest addition to the site. In Bloom by Nikki is the website of my extremely talented friend Nikki! She makes all sorts of fancy gifts and if you have any special occasion coming up keep her in mind!!
(link is on the left side of my page. scroll down a bit and voila!)
Congrats Nikki!! Here's to your first million!
(link is on the left side of my page. scroll down a bit and voila!)
Congrats Nikki!! Here's to your first million!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sometimes...
Sometimes babies pee on you, and your cell phone.
Sometimes you wear the same pants three days in a row and just don't care.
Sometimes you trip on the rug at 7-11 and spill your coffee on a tiny man.
Sometimes you wear the same pants three days in a row and just don't care.
Sometimes you trip on the rug at 7-11 and spill your coffee on a tiny man.
I a'int no city girl
Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Elgin, PA and fell in love?
We left Friday afternoon. Cute bf, his dad, and I on the way to a double surprise birthday party/family reunion. A seven hour drive loomed in front of us. Rain made the highway nearly invisible. Then sun shone moments later. Traffic crawled. Accidents littered the roads. And we just kept driving. Around midnight we arrived in Elgin, Pennsylvania. The air was cool and crisp down in the valley. The house was asleep already, so we went in and crashed into bed.
The next morning we woke up to light streaming in through a skylight in the ceiling and two large windows. The bedroom we were in was amazing. I hadn't even seen it the night before. It was large, and homey. With intricate wood detail, built in bookshelves and drawers and a sloping ceiling. The rest of the house proved to be equally beautiful. The deck off the huge eat-in kitchen was massive, and the view was amazing. A large yard stretched out, meeting a forest of trees, and a series of creeks.
We ate breakfast quickly and grabbed cute bf's niece and nephew and hit the 4 wheelers. It was girls vs. boys as I drove with his niece and he and his nephew led the way through woods, winding trails and the ever favorite: mud! We rode for well over an hour until our butts were sore and the sky clouded over with big, fat rain clouds.
That evening I met a lot more of the family (and did my best to remember names), then played Wii and Monopoly until it was time to get a good night sleep.
Sunday was the double surprise party/reunion. And boy oh boy was it a busy day. Never in my life have I seen an army of women create so much food in such an organized fashion. It was fantastic. We headed down to the local firehouse and enjoyed the party. Since there was supposed to be no drinking....
well....
Cute bf's dad, cute bf, and I packed a cooler. Somewhere around the end of the party we snuck out, and like underage kids had few drinks in the parking lot. As word spread about our clandestine activity, more and more family members joined- until the parking lot was full of people holding cold beers, telling funny stories, and enjoying the time of doing nothing at all.
We left the firehouse and in a long caravan headed to a Great Aunt's house (right up the hill from where we were staying). I can't remember when I've had such a good time. Kids ran around barefoot, 4 wheelers buzzed, beer cans were cracked open, and laughter rang out in the valley beneath the mountains, echoing in the cool night air. And then, sitting on the great front porch surrounded by so much the sky opened up and gave us more. A thunderstorm let loose, and lightning lit up acres of land revealing craggy rock, and fields of wildflowers. Rain poured over everything, feeding the creeks and plants.
As far as I was concerned the night could have gone on forever.
When we left on Monday mid-morning we decided to skip the Turnpike and weave our way through windy, back roads. We pointed out wild turkeys, chubby groundhogs, and views so beautiful we slowed the car to a stop to just look. I don't know that I've ever felt peace like that before and it's carried me through this day as well. I hope the feeling stays with me whenever I'm faced with challenging people and situations. I hope I can remember to slow down, and appreciate the simple things.
And I hope someday I can live in a home like that, where the front door is always open, and family comes and goes. Where toys litter the kitchen floor and breakfast can be eaten in the open air. Where people are good and pure and real. And where I can fall asleep at night to the sound of rain drumming on the roof.
We left Friday afternoon. Cute bf, his dad, and I on the way to a double surprise birthday party/family reunion. A seven hour drive loomed in front of us. Rain made the highway nearly invisible. Then sun shone moments later. Traffic crawled. Accidents littered the roads. And we just kept driving. Around midnight we arrived in Elgin, Pennsylvania. The air was cool and crisp down in the valley. The house was asleep already, so we went in and crashed into bed.
The next morning we woke up to light streaming in through a skylight in the ceiling and two large windows. The bedroom we were in was amazing. I hadn't even seen it the night before. It was large, and homey. With intricate wood detail, built in bookshelves and drawers and a sloping ceiling. The rest of the house proved to be equally beautiful. The deck off the huge eat-in kitchen was massive, and the view was amazing. A large yard stretched out, meeting a forest of trees, and a series of creeks.
We ate breakfast quickly and grabbed cute bf's niece and nephew and hit the 4 wheelers. It was girls vs. boys as I drove with his niece and he and his nephew led the way through woods, winding trails and the ever favorite: mud! We rode for well over an hour until our butts were sore and the sky clouded over with big, fat rain clouds.
That evening I met a lot more of the family (and did my best to remember names), then played Wii and Monopoly until it was time to get a good night sleep.
Sunday was the double surprise party/reunion. And boy oh boy was it a busy day. Never in my life have I seen an army of women create so much food in such an organized fashion. It was fantastic. We headed down to the local firehouse and enjoyed the party. Since there was supposed to be no drinking....
well....
Cute bf's dad, cute bf, and I packed a cooler. Somewhere around the end of the party we snuck out, and like underage kids had few drinks in the parking lot. As word spread about our clandestine activity, more and more family members joined- until the parking lot was full of people holding cold beers, telling funny stories, and enjoying the time of doing nothing at all.
We left the firehouse and in a long caravan headed to a Great Aunt's house (right up the hill from where we were staying). I can't remember when I've had such a good time. Kids ran around barefoot, 4 wheelers buzzed, beer cans were cracked open, and laughter rang out in the valley beneath the mountains, echoing in the cool night air. And then, sitting on the great front porch surrounded by so much the sky opened up and gave us more. A thunderstorm let loose, and lightning lit up acres of land revealing craggy rock, and fields of wildflowers. Rain poured over everything, feeding the creeks and plants.
As far as I was concerned the night could have gone on forever.
When we left on Monday mid-morning we decided to skip the Turnpike and weave our way through windy, back roads. We pointed out wild turkeys, chubby groundhogs, and views so beautiful we slowed the car to a stop to just look. I don't know that I've ever felt peace like that before and it's carried me through this day as well. I hope the feeling stays with me whenever I'm faced with challenging people and situations. I hope I can remember to slow down, and appreciate the simple things.
And I hope someday I can live in a home like that, where the front door is always open, and family comes and goes. Where toys litter the kitchen floor and breakfast can be eaten in the open air. Where people are good and pure and real. And where I can fall asleep at night to the sound of rain drumming on the roof.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Brief Hiatus
Cute bf, his parents, and I are off to Northern (way Northern) Pennsylvania. We'll be back sometime Monday night.
Have a good weekend!!
Have a good weekend!!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
"Joy to the world , all the boys and girls , joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea joy to you and me."
He's technically my step-brother. (There are some people I know that insist on making a distinction between brother and step-brother. They, in my opinion, are idiots). Wanna know why?
Because he is my brother.
The moment I laid eyes on him. The time I helped him tie his shoe. The time he curled up in my lap and snored quietly. The time he felt the pain of my breakup from long-term boyfriend. The time he was scared and I comforted him. The time we had a serious family issue, and I could do nothing but worry about how it would affect him.
And the love. My God. The love that I feel for him. It isn't step-anything. It's dead on. It doesn't matter that his father married my mother almost 8 years ago. I've known him always. I'm supposed to be his sister. And so it is.
To those of you who try to say he isn't my brother. You can go take a long walk off a very short, very splintery pier. You know nothing.
We spent the last couple days together. I'm busy. Very busy lately. But never too busy for him. Because he's almost a teenager. He's at the age where everything matters. Where his parents just don't understand, but I do. I can listen. He can curse a blue streak (not that he does). He can say what he really thinks. All bets are off. He can eat dessert first. He can order crab dip AND a cheeseburger with double fries. He can ride his favorite roller coaster as much as he wants. He can NOT clean his room and I don't care. He can stay up later than me. He can just be. And I love when he just....is.
The kid never stops talking. He is a chain of words, unending. He is fantastic. He is Jeremiah. Hence the nickname: Bullfrog. And ya know what? He really does bring joy to this world.
So we had a ball. We talked. And I hope he knows this now and always: that I am here. Not there. But here. No matter what.
Monday, July 20, 2009
"I'm livin' in a hurricane, and all you can say is 'A'int it such a nice day?' "
I don't know what to write. But I want to. Because it's how I make sense of things. It's how I take my hurricane-tsunami-earthquake storm of thoughts and untangle them. I delve through the wreckage and pull out what matters, leaving the trash behind. Because some thoughts are just trash. Just junk.
I woke up too early this morning. I stumbled through a morning. I wasn't in a bad mood. Not by any means. The sun was shining, the earth smelled clean and fresh, and I'm loved.
Coffee didn't even work though. And it's 7pm right now and I want to close my eyes and just sleep. So I can wake up with that "Fuck it, I can conquer anything" feeling. You know the one?
So I don't know what to write. So I'll do what they (who are "they"?) always say, and I'll write what I know.
So I semi-proudly present: Snippets. Random crap that has happened lately. Sorry if it doesn't matter or make sense. But that's life.
* I went to the Doctor. As she was writing my prescription, I noticed she had a bee in her hair. I calmly reached up with a paper towel and pulled it out. Then stepped on it. She looked really worried at first when I touched her hair without saying a word. Then she was happier when she found out why.
*Driving home from a wonderful BBQ on Saturday night we met the mother (or father) of all traffic jams. People out of cars. Music playing. Dancing. Revelry. ROAD CLOSED. No explanation. So we turned around and drove the wrong way on the road. Like, back the way we came on the entrance ramp. That could have ended badly. But all is well.
*I was at CVS and a man walked in playing a harmonica. I thought he looked like Willie Nelson.
*I was at Dunkin Donuts and there was a guy with a motorcycle. I thought he looked like Jesse James.
*I heard a new song, and it made me cry. So I called my Mom and told her to listen to it. We're weird like that.
*I watched Mall Cop, and it was really dumb. But two hours with cute boyfriend by my side made it fun.
*I have been busy living lately. I like it.
*I almost ate a turkey dog this weekend. But I didn't. I'm determined to eat meat again at some point. I don't know why.
*Someone told a story that started with the phrase, "Do you remember in 1980 when..." and I had to quietly remind them that I wasn't born until 1982.
*Did I mention the harmonica? Yeah. I liked him.
I woke up too early this morning. I stumbled through a morning. I wasn't in a bad mood. Not by any means. The sun was shining, the earth smelled clean and fresh, and I'm loved.
Coffee didn't even work though. And it's 7pm right now and I want to close my eyes and just sleep. So I can wake up with that "Fuck it, I can conquer anything" feeling. You know the one?
So I don't know what to write. So I'll do what they (who are "they"?) always say, and I'll write what I know.
So I semi-proudly present: Snippets. Random crap that has happened lately. Sorry if it doesn't matter or make sense. But that's life.
* I went to the Doctor. As she was writing my prescription, I noticed she had a bee in her hair. I calmly reached up with a paper towel and pulled it out. Then stepped on it. She looked really worried at first when I touched her hair without saying a word. Then she was happier when she found out why.
*Driving home from a wonderful BBQ on Saturday night we met the mother (or father) of all traffic jams. People out of cars. Music playing. Dancing. Revelry. ROAD CLOSED. No explanation. So we turned around and drove the wrong way on the road. Like, back the way we came on the entrance ramp. That could have ended badly. But all is well.
*I was at CVS and a man walked in playing a harmonica. I thought he looked like Willie Nelson.
*I was at Dunkin Donuts and there was a guy with a motorcycle. I thought he looked like Jesse James.
*I heard a new song, and it made me cry. So I called my Mom and told her to listen to it. We're weird like that.
*I watched Mall Cop, and it was really dumb. But two hours with cute boyfriend by my side made it fun.
*I have been busy living lately. I like it.
*I almost ate a turkey dog this weekend. But I didn't. I'm determined to eat meat again at some point. I don't know why.
*Someone told a story that started with the phrase, "Do you remember in 1980 when..." and I had to quietly remind them that I wasn't born until 1982.
*Did I mention the harmonica? Yeah. I liked him.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Fever Fog
On Wednesday I started getting a sore throat, and a vaguely achy feeling. And then exhaustion set in. But I had to work. And had a date with cute bf. So I ignored it. I took some Aleve and hoped it would just pass.
On Thursday the fever set in. And it raged. I shook with chills and could barely swallow. I could think of nothing else. The temperature outside soared to 96 degrees. But I cranked the heat in my car on the way home, and still couldn't get warm. Once safe at home, I took 4 Tylenol, and 2 alka seltzer. And curled up in the fetal position in bed. I slept fitfully, with swirling, fever induced dreams. I woke a few hours later, confused. What day? What time?
Little by little I began to feel better, and today it's like nothing ever happened.
So why do I share this? Because it sucked. And well, other than that, nothing happened yesterday!
Fin.
On Thursday the fever set in. And it raged. I shook with chills and could barely swallow. I could think of nothing else. The temperature outside soared to 96 degrees. But I cranked the heat in my car on the way home, and still couldn't get warm. Once safe at home, I took 4 Tylenol, and 2 alka seltzer. And curled up in the fetal position in bed. I slept fitfully, with swirling, fever induced dreams. I woke a few hours later, confused. What day? What time?
Little by little I began to feel better, and today it's like nothing ever happened.
So why do I share this? Because it sucked. And well, other than that, nothing happened yesterday!
Fin.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” -Dr.Seuss
And a'int that the truth?
I've been mulling, and pondering, and worrying, and not always sleeping, and pacing, and re-tracing, and thinking, and drinking.
And when I sat still, and quiet, and took the advice of a very good brain, the answers were sitting in front of me, beaming. "We've been here all along!", they said and dissolved into laughter.
And I hugged them, and laughed along with them.
There they were. Charmingly simple. Thrillingly obvious. And oh-so overlooked. Until now.
And it all goes back to this:
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my arm, or forehead. Sometimes I need a reminder that I'm the one in control (at least of my attitude) 100% of the time.
So I'm organizing, and smiling, and don't have that world on my shoulders anymore. It's under my feet again, where it belongs.
Go. Have fun. Be nice.
I've been mulling, and pondering, and worrying, and not always sleeping, and pacing, and re-tracing, and thinking, and drinking.
And when I sat still, and quiet, and took the advice of a very good brain, the answers were sitting in front of me, beaming. "We've been here all along!", they said and dissolved into laughter.
And I hugged them, and laughed along with them.
There they were. Charmingly simple. Thrillingly obvious. And oh-so overlooked. Until now.
And it all goes back to this:
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my arm, or forehead. Sometimes I need a reminder that I'm the one in control (at least of my attitude) 100% of the time.
So I'm organizing, and smiling, and don't have that world on my shoulders anymore. It's under my feet again, where it belongs.
Go. Have fun. Be nice.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Just call me Sarah
I push my way out of Marshall's, sidestepping a little old lady. Hop down from the curb, look both ways, and cross to the parking lot. I veer right, toward the Maroon Pontiac G6. Head down, look in my purse for keys. Hit the unlock button. Hmm....the trunk popped. Weird. Probably hit both buttons by accident. Hit unlock again.
Notice the baby in the backseat.
Panic.
I don't have a baby.
(do I?)
No. No. I definitely do not have a baby.
Oh my God. Someone abandoned their baby and left her in the backseat of my car. They must know how much I love children, and that she'll have a good home with me, and I will love her no matter what. I mean I didn't plan on this, but that's ok. I can make it work. Oh what will I name her?!
And then....
"Umm..Miss...what are you doing?"
I look into the wide brown eyes of a pretty, young woman, and see concern.
Ohmagodthisisnotmycar.
"Uh, well, oh my. This is awkward. Like, we have the same car. So I thought it was mine, and the baby was abandoned. Boy it's hot out. I'm sorry. I'm Sarah. Bye."
Notice the baby in the backseat.
Panic.
I don't have a baby.
(do I?)
No. No. I definitely do not have a baby.
Oh my God. Someone abandoned their baby and left her in the backseat of my car. They must know how much I love children, and that she'll have a good home with me, and I will love her no matter what. I mean I didn't plan on this, but that's ok. I can make it work. Oh what will I name her?!
And then....
"Umm..Miss...what are you doing?"
I look into the wide brown eyes of a pretty, young woman, and see concern.
Ohmagodthisisnotmycar.
"Uh, well, oh my. This is awkward. Like, we have the same car. So I thought it was mine, and the baby was abandoned. Boy it's hot out. I'm sorry. I'm Sarah. Bye."
Friday, July 10, 2009
I wonder if the Tooth Fairy wants to grab a nightcap
I can't remember the last sleepless night I had. But here I am, delirious at 2am on an early Friday morning. I can't force my mind to settle, and rest.
I had that dream again. The one where I'm in a very tall building. And I know the bad people are there. And I head for the stairs. But there he is. Some bad imitation of a mobster. He's strolling. I'm running for my life. And he tells me that if I run I'll just get a pedicure. And you know what he means by pedicure? He'll break my legs. (I don't know, crazy dream lingo) But I know I can't stay. So I fly down those stairs and my heart pounds and I can smell it, and see it, and feel a cold railing beneath my fingers. And on each landing is another guy. Another threat. They are so cold, so calm. What did I ever do to them? That they would want to kill me? And I run for my life.
I always reach the 2nd floor. Never the lobby. And there's a young kid, with blond hair and a cheap, gray suit (I dream in mega-watt, dolby digital detail). And he looks almost apologetic like, "Hey I'm sorry about this whole wanting to kill you thing, but I've got this boss and he's pretty insistent that you die. So..."
And I run past him and he lets me. But I can't find my way off the second floor.
And I wake up. A sheen of sweat. I throw off my covers and let my heartbeat return to normal, and wonder for the millionth time why my Mom hasn't come in to my room to protect me. The bad guys were there. I needed backup. But I'm 26 now. I'm way past the years of Mom fending off dream evil with sleepy reassurances, and a backrub. And well, that's just no good to me.
Life is ever changing. A snake shedding its skin. We must grow or die. Well, not a real death, but a soul death. We must change, or we'll never learn. And I so want to learn. And here I am at 2am getting all philosophical in a mostly dark room, with Otis Redding singing to me about a little tenderness. Isn't that what we all really need? Someone with a soft heart, and gentle hands to tell us, it's all going to be ok.
Morning is coming. I can't stop it anymore than I can stop the years passing, and the hearts breaking, and the dreams shattering, and the love growing, and the Earth spinning. We have so much power, and yet so little. And I think I'm ok with controlling what I can for now. For seeing the forest for the trees or whatever the hell that means. I guess I'm ok with a little growing pain now, for the beautiful future that lay ahead.
So I'll sit in my sweet, silent space. I'll click on these keys, and I'll think about all that I have, and how little others have. I'll remember that true struggles are not having enough to eat, and abused mothers fleeing with children to make a better life, and war, and all those horrible things we'd rather not deal with.
But I will deal. And I will thrive. And maybe one day I'll make it to the lobby of that tall building. And to the revolving door. And then....well....who knows what lay on the other side. But I'd like to find out.
I had that dream again. The one where I'm in a very tall building. And I know the bad people are there. And I head for the stairs. But there he is. Some bad imitation of a mobster. He's strolling. I'm running for my life. And he tells me that if I run I'll just get a pedicure. And you know what he means by pedicure? He'll break my legs. (I don't know, crazy dream lingo) But I know I can't stay. So I fly down those stairs and my heart pounds and I can smell it, and see it, and feel a cold railing beneath my fingers. And on each landing is another guy. Another threat. They are so cold, so calm. What did I ever do to them? That they would want to kill me? And I run for my life.
I always reach the 2nd floor. Never the lobby. And there's a young kid, with blond hair and a cheap, gray suit (I dream in mega-watt, dolby digital detail). And he looks almost apologetic like, "Hey I'm sorry about this whole wanting to kill you thing, but I've got this boss and he's pretty insistent that you die. So..."
And I run past him and he lets me. But I can't find my way off the second floor.
And I wake up. A sheen of sweat. I throw off my covers and let my heartbeat return to normal, and wonder for the millionth time why my Mom hasn't come in to my room to protect me. The bad guys were there. I needed backup. But I'm 26 now. I'm way past the years of Mom fending off dream evil with sleepy reassurances, and a backrub. And well, that's just no good to me.
Life is ever changing. A snake shedding its skin. We must grow or die. Well, not a real death, but a soul death. We must change, or we'll never learn. And I so want to learn. And here I am at 2am getting all philosophical in a mostly dark room, with Otis Redding singing to me about a little tenderness. Isn't that what we all really need? Someone with a soft heart, and gentle hands to tell us, it's all going to be ok.
Morning is coming. I can't stop it anymore than I can stop the years passing, and the hearts breaking, and the dreams shattering, and the love growing, and the Earth spinning. We have so much power, and yet so little. And I think I'm ok with controlling what I can for now. For seeing the forest for the trees or whatever the hell that means. I guess I'm ok with a little growing pain now, for the beautiful future that lay ahead.
So I'll sit in my sweet, silent space. I'll click on these keys, and I'll think about all that I have, and how little others have. I'll remember that true struggles are not having enough to eat, and abused mothers fleeing with children to make a better life, and war, and all those horrible things we'd rather not deal with.
But I will deal. And I will thrive. And maybe one day I'll make it to the lobby of that tall building. And to the revolving door. And then....well....who knows what lay on the other side. But I'd like to find out.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sweet Jesus...I'm lucky
**Quick Update**
The surprise for Mom had to be postponed. Weather. That's all I can say. It's still a surprise :) We're rescheduling.
****************************************************************************
There's a quote from this old Reese Witherspoon movie (as old as a Reese Witherspoon movie can be) "The Man in the Moon", where Reese's characters older sister says something along the lines of, "What's it like to feel everything?" And I come back often to that line. Because I feel everything. My emotions run a daily express train through gratitude, love, fear, anger, acceptance, hope, joy, anger, and everything in between. . And mostly? Just pure happiness. Because despite my numerous flaws, and mistakes, and the daily grind of life:
"Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."
-American Beauty
Long ago I discovered that I'm a restless soul, loving, needing, craving change; the out of the ordinary. I like surprises, and for the plan to change. I don't like routine, it makes me itchy. I'm not afraid of new things. It's getting stuck in a rut that frightens me.
My parents like to say that I always do things the hard way, and that's probably true. It's completely true, actually. But the hard way has taught me more than I'd ever imagined; strength, courage, how to maneuver in this big world, and most importantly that I have so much more to learn.
The past few weeks are a perfect example . I changed jobs, set up a grown-up budget, and am moving in two weeks. And I realized this weekend that my family loves cute bf almost as much as I do. My soul feels more settled than it ever has before. And everyday I wake up with a smile on my face- ready to do it all again or for the first time.
Somewhere I got off track.....feelings. Oh I'm a bundle of feelings. I'm an emotional being. I deeply feel things so I am always aware of how I feel, and concerned with how others feel (though I don't always get that across properly) I'm still working on respecting and protecting my needs and feelings while being cautious of others.
I don't know where I'm going with all this. Maybe I don't need to wrap everything up in a pretty conclusion bow. So I'll leave you with this quote:
"Everyone has dreams, and even if yours didn't work out the way you wanted it doesn't make me any less proud of you. Too many people never really try."
-Three Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks
The surprise for Mom had to be postponed. Weather. That's all I can say. It's still a surprise :) We're rescheduling.
****************************************************************************
There's a quote from this old Reese Witherspoon movie (as old as a Reese Witherspoon movie can be) "The Man in the Moon", where Reese's characters older sister says something along the lines of, "What's it like to feel everything?" And I come back often to that line. Because I feel everything. My emotions run a daily express train through gratitude, love, fear, anger, acceptance, hope, joy, anger, and everything in between. . And mostly? Just pure happiness. Because despite my numerous flaws, and mistakes, and the daily grind of life:
"Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."
-American Beauty
Long ago I discovered that I'm a restless soul, loving, needing, craving change; the out of the ordinary. I like surprises, and for the plan to change. I don't like routine, it makes me itchy. I'm not afraid of new things. It's getting stuck in a rut that frightens me.
My parents like to say that I always do things the hard way, and that's probably true. It's completely true, actually. But the hard way has taught me more than I'd ever imagined; strength, courage, how to maneuver in this big world, and most importantly that I have so much more to learn.
The past few weeks are a perfect example . I changed jobs, set up a grown-up budget, and am moving in two weeks. And I realized this weekend that my family loves cute bf almost as much as I do. My soul feels more settled than it ever has before. And everyday I wake up with a smile on my face- ready to do it all again or for the first time.
Somewhere I got off track.....feelings. Oh I'm a bundle of feelings. I'm an emotional being. I deeply feel things so I am always aware of how I feel, and concerned with how others feel (though I don't always get that across properly) I'm still working on respecting and protecting my needs and feelings while being cautious of others.
I don't know where I'm going with all this. Maybe I don't need to wrap everything up in a pretty conclusion bow. So I'll leave you with this quote:
"Everyone has dreams, and even if yours didn't work out the way you wanted it doesn't make me any less proud of you. Too many people never really try."
-Three Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Drumroll Please!
It's 6am on the 4th of July. I have a little bit of packing to do, and then I'm outta here for a little while.
My Uncle Chris, big brother Nick, and I are taking my Mom on an adventure. She has no idea what's going on. And if you're reading this: HI MOM! I'M STILL NOT TELLING!
I will post pics and details tomorrow. For now, Happy 4th!!! Enjoy the friends, food, family, and fun!
My Uncle Chris, big brother Nick, and I are taking my Mom on an adventure. She has no idea what's going on. And if you're reading this: HI MOM! I'M STILL NOT TELLING!
I will post pics and details tomorrow. For now, Happy 4th!!! Enjoy the friends, food, family, and fun!
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