*Greeting a vendor at work today for a co-worker who is out of the office*
"Hi ****, so good to see you!"
"You too, thanks for meeting with me."
"Sure. So sorry that ***** couldn't be here today. She hurt herself."
"I mean, she didn't kill herself or anything. Not like that. It's her leg."
*forced laughter* "I'm sure she'll be fine! And if she had killed herself I definitely wouldn't have told you like this. I mean...not that there's a good way to tell someone that. Or that you would even want to know."
"Ok...well...let's talk toys!"